In our relationships, toxic positivity shows up when we ignore someone’s concerns and emotions and instead assert the catastrophe as casual and ordinary in everyday life, thus silencing their need to express openly and seek empathic social support.
Dangers of Toxic Positivity
Though cultivating a positive outlook is not harmful, urging a person to discount his or her emotions may take a hit on their mental health.
As similarly discussed by Villines (2021), engaging in toxic positivity may lead to the following risks:
Ignoring potential red flags. One narrative review by Sinclair, Hart, and Lomas (2020) entitled “Can positivity be counterproductive when suffering domestic abuse?: A narrative review” has discussed that an overgeneralized positivity escalates one’s chances of harm and abuse. In instances where one is in an abusive work or home environment, the display of empathy, hope, acceptance, and resilience may impede a person’s decision to leave the traumatic situation.
Discarded emotions. In the face of loss and tragedy, a person repeatedly urged to “be happy” and “be positive” may feel invalidated of their emotions in response to their experience, thus prompting them to internalize negative feelings.
Self-isolation. In the absence of much-needed social comfort in times of immense grief and pain, one may feel an urge to avoid any form of appropriate mental health consultation and treatment, thus choosing to self-isolate rather than seek professional help.
Communication problems and low self-esteem. When forced to take on a positive approach during difficult situations, individuals are likely to have difficulty sharing with their family and social circles, eventually making them feel weak and fail.
Tragic Optimism as an Antidote
Viktor Frankl, a neurologist, and psychiatrist, coined the meaning behind tragic optimism in a book postscript.
In brief, he proceeds by discussing the tragic triad – pain, guilt, and death. He emphasizes how life can retain its inherent meaning amid these tragic situations, thus presupposing the capacity of man to turn adversities and challenges into positive and constructive experiences.
Frankl defines tragic optimism as the capacity to face tragedy, allowing an appreciative understanding of man’s capability to reap achievement and accomplishment from suffering, nurturing growth from a feeling of guilt, and taking full accountability during life’s transitory periods.
In instances where positive experiences and blessings seem scant, a proclamation of gratitude and counting of blessings start to feel like shallow comfort. Tragic optimism offers a better mechanism approach towards darkness as it employs a practical and realistic outlook in response to darkness.
In the process of trauma, a human actively searches for meaning as he experiences a heightened appreciation of life and relationships and gains a more profound sense of compassion, creativity, and purpose that encourages him to evaluate his strengths.
